Quote Investigator® – Tracing Quotations

Quote Origin: A Mathematician Is a Machine Which Turns Coffee into Theorems

Paul Erdős? Alfréd Rényi? Jane Philcox? Suzy Schultz? Scott Westerfeld? Anonymous?

**Picture of coffee and a croissant from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Three outstanding mathematicians have been credited with the following humorous remark about their profession:

A mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems.

This statement is usually attributed to the brilliant and prolific Hungarian mathematician Paul Erdős. Yet, it has also been attributed to the prominent Hungarian mathematicians Alfréd Rényi and Paul Turán. Would you please help to determine the originator?

Also, would you please explore the variant quips about writers, programmers, lawyers, and others.

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match known to QI appeared in a paper delivered by Paul Erdős in 1971 titled “Child Prodigies” at “The Washington State University Conference on Number Theory”. Erdős spoke about his experience providing coffee to a youthful aspiring mathematician. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

In Hungary, many mathematicians drink strong coffee, in fact Rényi once said: a mathematician is a machine which turns coffee into theorems, at the mathematical institute they make particularly good coffee, when Pósa was not quite 14 I offered him a little strong coffee which he drank with an infinite amount of sugar. My mother was very angry that I gave the little boy strong coffee.

Based on this citation, Alfréd Rényi is the leading candidate for creator of this expression. Erdős was the most significant popularizer, and nowadays he often incorrectly receives credit. Erdős referred to Lajos Pósa in the passage above. Pósa became a well-known educator in mathematics.

Below is an overview showing variants with attributions and dates:

1971: A mathematician is a machine which turns coffee into theorems (Attributed to Alfréd Rényi by Paul Erdős)

1984: A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems (Attributed to an unnamed colleague of Paul Erdős)

1987 Nov: A mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems (Attributed to Paul Erdős)

1991 May 15: A programmer is a machine for converting coffee into code (Usenet poster Jane Philcox)

1997 Aug 15: A programmer is a machine for turning beer into code (Usenet poster Matt Simpson)

2003 Jan 15: A programmer is a device for turning computer programs into spaghetti (Usenet poster H. S. Teoh)

2004: Her brain was nothing but a machine for turning coffee into special effects (Novelist Scott Westerfeld)

2000 Oct 03: A computer programmer is a device for turning coffee into bugs (Attributed to Bram Moolenaar by Usenet poster Arnaud S. Launay)

2008 Jan 21: A writer is a machine for turning coffee into poems (X-Twitter handle Suzy @Suzy_Schultz)

2009 Apr 07: A writer is a device for turning coffee into prose (X-Twitter handle John Ochwat @jjochwat)

2009 Jul 22: A programmer is a machine for turning caffeine, sugar and/or cigarettes into awkward and cryptic text files (X-Twitter handle Nigel F. Kennedy @nfkennedy)

2009 Jul 22: A Software Development Engineer … is a biological machine for turning snacks & beverages into software systems. (X-Twitter handle Ravi Mandala @rmandala)

2009 Sep 07: A writer is a machine for turning tea into descriptions (Attributed to Jim Rossignol by X-Twitter handle Dave McLeod @davemcleod)

2020 Nov 24: The brain is a machine for turning glucose into mistakes (X-Twitter handle Neuroskeptic @Neuro_Skeptic)

2024 Feb 28: “lawyer: a machine for turning coffee into billable hours” (Attributed to an anonymous lawyer by X-Twitter handle Gabriel @gbrl_dick)

Below are details for selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Theater is Not the Realm of the Real; There Are Cardboard Trees, Diamonds of Glass, Tinsel Gold

Victor Hugo? Lorenzo O’Rourke? Agnès Pierron? Apocryphal?

**Curtain depicting three human figures in silhouette from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: A literary titan commented on the stylized representations employed in theatrical productions. I do not recall the precise phrasing, but this was the gist:

The stage does not embody realism. It employs cardboard trees, glass diamonds, gold tinsel, and painted faces. The sun rises from below the stage. Yet, the theater does embody truth; there are human hearts on the stage and human hearts in the audience.

This insight about theater has been ascribed to the prominent French novelist, dramatist, and poet Victor Hugo, but I am uncertain because I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please help me to find the accurate text in its original language?

Reply from Quote Investigator: When Victor Hugo died in 1885, he left his heirs with a collection of reflections which were eventually published under the title “Post-Scriptum de ma vie” (“Postscript to My Life”) in 1901. The section named “Tas de pierres III” (“Pile of stones III”) contained brief miscellaneous thoughts. Victor Hugo wrote the following about theatre and realism. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Le théâtre n’est pas le pays du réel : il ya des arbres de carton, des palais de toile, un ciel de haillons, des diamants de verre, de l’or clinquant, du fard sur la pêche, du rouge sur la joue, un soleil qui sort de dessous terre.

Le théâtre est le pays du vrai : il ya des cœurs humains sur la scène, des cœurs humains dans la coulisse, des cœurs humains dans la salle.

Here is one possible translation into English:

The theater is not the realm of the real: there are cardboard trees, canvas palaces, a sky of rags, glass diamonds, tinsel gold, makeup on the peach, rouge on the cheek, a sun that rises from beneath the earth.

The theater is the realm of the true: there are human hearts on the stage, human hearts in the wings, human hearts in the auditorium.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: It Takes 20 Years To Build a Reputation and Five Minutes To Ruin It

Warren Buffett? Howard Buffett? Nancy Miller? Henry F. Kletzing? Robert Quillen? Anonymous?

**Stars which represent a changing** **reputation** **from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: A positive reputation is fragile. Here are three versions of a popular saying:

(A) It takes years to build up a good reputation which may be destroyed in five minutes.
(B) It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it.
(C) It takes a lifetime to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it.

This saying has been credited to the prominent U.S. investor and philanthropist Warren Buffett, but I am skeptical. I have not seen a solid citation, and I suspect that the statement was circulating before Buffett was born. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Warren Buffett was born in 1930, and a version of the saying appeared in the “San Antonio Daily Express” of Texas many years earlier in 1891. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The Waxahachie Enterprise deplores the fact that it takes years to build up a good reputation which may be destroyed in five minutes.

The newspaper in San Antonio acknowledged a newspaper in Waxahachie, Texas. The creator of the saying remains anonymous. The phrasing is highly variable, and QI believes earlier instances probably exist.

There is substantive evidence that Warren Buffett employed the saying. In September 1991 journalist Nancy Miller of “USA Today” published a profile of Warren Buffet which contained the following remarks from the investor’s son Howard Buffett:²

One of the most vivid childhood memories his son Howard has of his father is a lecture on the value of a good name. “I was 11 years old,” Howard recalls. “We were driving down the street, and he said, ‘It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it.'”

Howard Buffett was born in December 1954; hence, if Howard’s memory is correct then he heard the saying from Warren in 1965 or 1966. This evidence is indirect, and QI has not yet found direct evidence in a speech, interview, or essay by Warren Buffett.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Before My Teacher Came to Me, I Did Not Know That I Am. I Lived in a World That Was a No-World

Helen Keller? Anne Sullivan? Nella Braddy Henney? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: When Helen Keller was 19 months old, she lost her sight and her hearing due to an illness. Keller experienced a breakthrough in communication at the age of seven when Anne Sullivan became her teacher and companion. Apparently, Keller gave a remarkable description of her state of consciousness before this breakthrough:

I did not know that I am. I lived in a world that was a no-world.

I have not been able to find a solid citation for this remark. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In March 1908 Helen Keller published an article titled “Sense and Sensibility (Part 2)” in “The Century Magazine” of New York. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Before my teacher came to me, I did not know that I am. I lived in a world that was a no-world. I cannot hope to describe adequately that unconscious, yet conscious time of nothingness. I did not know that I knew aught, or that I lived or acted or desired. I had neither will nor intellect. I was carried along to objects and acts by a certain blind natural impetus. I had a mind which caused me to feel anger, satisfaction, desire.

In addition, Keller wrote:

My inner life, then, was a blank without past, present, or future, without hope or anticipation, without wonder or joy or faith.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: We Should Regard It as a Privilege To Be Stepping Stones to Higher Things

Arthur C. Clarke? Isaac Asimov? Anonymous?

**Picture of stepping stones from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Machine learning techniques have dramatically increased in power during the twenty-first century. Some contemporary thinkers fear the emergence of artificial intelligence systems which will supersede humankind. Yet, a prominent science fiction author of the previous century espoused a surprising position. The author felt no apprehension when contemplating superintelligent machines. Here are two versions of his remark:

(1) We should regard it as a privilege to be stepping stones to higher things
(2) We should be honored to be stepping stones to higher things.

Both statements have been attributed to Arthur C. Clarke who co-wrote the screenplay for the film “2001: A Space Odyssey”. Would you please help me to find a citation and determine which statement is accurate.

Reply from Quote Investigator: In September 1964 Arthur C. Clarke appeared on the BBC-2 television program “Horizon”. A companion article by Clarke appeared in “The Listener” magazine in October 1964. Clarke discussed a variety of future scenarios. He envisioned major advances in machine intelligence.

The first statement above was spoken by Clarke during the BBC-2 program. The second statement was written by Clarke in “The Listener” article. The following words were spoken during the television program. Boldface added to excepts by QI:¹

… the most intelligent inhabitants of that future world won’t be men or monkeys. They’ll be machines—the remote descendants of today’s computers. Now the present-day electronic brains are complete morons, but this will not be true in another generation. They will start to think, and eventually they will completely outthink their makers.

Is this depressing? I don’t see why it should be. We superseded the Cro-Magnon and Neanderthal men, and we presume we’re an improvement. I think we should regard it as a privilege to be stepping stones to higher things. I suspect that organic, or biological, evolution has about come to its end, and we’re now at the beginning of inorganic, or mechanical, evolution, which will be thousands of times swifter.

The text below is from the companion article by Clarke in the October 1964 issue of “The Listener” magazine. Clarke rephrased his spoken statements:²

… the most intelligent inhabitants of that future world will not be men, or animals; they will undoubtedly be machines—the remote descendants of our present computers. For all their speed and the fantastic things they can do, today’s electronic brains are mere imbeciles.

But this will not always be true; in another generation they will start to think, in every sense of the word; and ultimately they will out-think their makers. Is this depressing? I do not see why it would be. We superseded the Neanderthals and Cro-Magnons, and consider ourselves an improvement. Why should we expect to be the end of the line? On the contrary; we should be honoured to be stepping stones to higher things.

I suspect, indeed, that we have come to the end of biological or organic evolution; the future belongs to mechanical or inorganic evolution which is thousands of times swifter.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Before You Speak, Listen. Before You Write, Think

William Shakespeare? William Arthur Ward? Rex Beach? Anonymous?

**Illustration of an ear listening from Pixabay**

Question for Quote Investigator: A miscellaneous collection of lines offering advice has implausibly been attributed to the acclaimed English playwright William Shakespeare. Here are three of the lines:

Before you speak, listen.
Before you write, think.
Before you spend, earn.

The Shakespeare ascription is clearly dubious. The lines above have also been attributed to the U.S. motivational writer and epigrammatist William Arthur Ward. Would you please explore his topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1968 William Arthur Ward published a compilation his epigrams and short passages under the title “Thoughts of a Christian Optimist”. The following item was included. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Before you speak, listen.
Before you write, think.
Before you spend, earn.
Before you invest, investigate.
Before you criticize, wait.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you quit, try.
Before you retire, save.
Before you die, give.

Thus, William Arthur Ward deserves credit for the aggregation above although some lines were already in circulation. This passage above was later modified, supplemented, and reassigned to William Shakespeare.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: ’Twas Not My Lips You Kissed, But My Soul

Judy Garland? Anne Edwards? Barron Polan? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The following romantic lines present a declaration of love. They are part of a larger poem:

For it was not into my ear you whispered,
but into my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed,
but my soul.

These words have been attributed to Judy Garland, the actress and singer from the Golden Age of Hollywood. I am skeptical because I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please help me to determine the correct phrasing and attribution?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Judy Garland died in 1969. In 1974 “McCall’s” magazine published an article titled “Under the Rainbow: The Lost Childhood of Judy Garland” by Anne Edwards. The article was an excerpt from a forthcoming biography by Edwards who later became known as “The Queen of Biography” for publishing books about Maria Callas, Shirley Temple, Vivien Leigh, Barbra Streisand, and others. The article discussed the literary aspirations of Judy Garland:¹

As Christmas, 1939, approached, she decided that when her contract was over she would become a writer. She spoke to her close friend, Barron Polan, telling him, “There are just so many things locked up in my head. I feel that if there was a can opener that could open my brain, all these thinkings and feelings would gush out like some unstoppable water tap.”

Polan encouraged Garland to write down her thoughts, and she did:

By Christmastime she had enough to fill a small book. In perhaps one of her first totally private acts she hand-copied the poetry, giving the copy to a printer to bind in tan leather. She gave it to Barron Polan for Christmas, and Polan has held on to the book throughout the years.

One poem in Garland’s book was titled “My Love Is Lost”. The text was reprinted in “McCall’s” magazine. Here are some lines from the poem which is about the disappearance of love. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:²

My love is lost.
…
Now, nothing but memories of every smile, every kiss, and, above all, every word.
For ’twas not into my ear you whispered but into my heart.
’Twas not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

The original lines by Garland used the literary contraction ’twas instead of “it was”.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: In Physics, Almost Everything Is Already Discovered, and All That Remains Is to Fill a Few Unimportant Holes

Philipp von Jolly? Max Planck? George Gamow? Neil de Grasse Tyson? Richard Feynman? Ian Stewart? Apocryphal?

**Depiction of a plasma ball from Hal Gatewood at Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: According to legend, a talented student asked a prominent physicist about the future of his field, and the response was thoroughly discouraging:

Almost everything is already discovered, and all that remains is to fill a few unimportant holes.

Reportedly, the student was Max Planck who eventually became a Nobel-prize-winning quantum physicist. Would you please explore the authenticity of this anecdote? Who was the pessimistic physicist?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1924 Max Planck was a Professor of Theoretical Physics at the University of Berlin in Germany. He delivered a guest lecture at the University of Munich. Planck recounted his experience as a student when he approached experimental physicist Philipp von Jolly to learn more about his future career. The conversation with Jolly occurred sometime between 1874 when Planck began his studies and 1879 when he defended his PhD thesis. The following passage in German is followed by an English rendering. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Als ich meine physikalischen Studien begann und bei meinem ehrwürdigen Lehrer Philipp v Jolly wegen der Bedingungen und Aussichten meines Studiums mir Rat erholte, schilderte mir dieser die Physik als eine hochentwickelte, nahezu voll ausgereifte Wissenschaft, die nunmehr, nachdem ihr durch die Entdeckung des Prinzips der Erhaltung der Energie gewissermaßen die Krone aufgesetzt sei, wohl bald ihre endgültige stabile Form angenommen haben würde. Wohl gäbe es vielleicht in einem oder dem anderen Winkel noch ein Stäubchen oder ein Bläschen zu prüfen und einzuordnen, aber das System als Ganzes stehe ziemlich gesichert da, und die theoretische Physik nähere sich merklich demjenigen Grade der Vollendung, wie ihn etwa die Geometrie schon seit Jahrhunderten besitze.

When I began my studies in physics and sought the advice of my esteemed teacher, Philipp von Jolly, regarding the conditions and prospects of my studies, he described physics to me as a highly developed, nearly fully mature science—one which, now that the discovery of the principle of the conservation of energy had, as it were, placed the crown upon it, would likely soon assume its final, stable form. While there might perhaps remain a speck of dust or a bubble here or there to be examined and classified, the system as a whole stood quite secure, and theoretical physics was perceptibly approaching that degree of perfection which, for instance, geometry had already possessed for centuries.

QI believes that the short quotation under examination was not spoken by Philipp von Jolly or Max Planck; instead, the modern quotation was created by an unknown person as a paraphrase of the passage above.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Laughter Is the Shortest Distance Between Two People

Victor Borge? Mary S. Taylor? Roy L. Smith? Jay Freeman? Walter Winchell? Anonymous?

**Picture of a joyful group of people in silhouette from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: The bonds between people can be enhanced when they laugh together. The following saying reflects this viewpoint:

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

This statement has been attributed to the Danish-American comedian and pianist Victor Borge. I have not been able to find a solid citation. Would you please help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1972 Associated Press journalist Vivian Brown interviewed Victor Borge at his waterfront home, and Borge employed an exact match for this statement. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people, commented comedian and concert pianist, Victor Borge. We should laugh more to enjoy our families and our work.

During the 1960s Borge employed variants of this expression during his performances using the words “smile”, “humor”, “laughter”, “persons”, and “people”. The sayings evolved from a larger family of expressions which began circulating near the beginning of the twentieth century.

Here is an overview with dates and attributions:

1909 Jun: A chord of sympathy is the shortest distance between two hearts (Mary S. Taylor)

1915 Apr: What is a smile? The shortest distance between two ears (Anonymous)

1924 Feb: A Flower Valentine … is the shortest distance between two hearts (Advertisement for florist James Weir)

1932 Aug: A smile is the shortest distance between two hearts (Reverend Roy L. Smith)

1937 Apr: Love is the shortest distance between two hearts (Attributed to Jay Freeman by Walter Winchell)

1965 Nov: Laughter is the shortest distance between two persons (Victor Borge)

1966 Apr: A smile is the shortest distance between two people (Victor Borge)

1966 Jun: What is humor? The shortest distance of truth between two people (Victor Borge)

1966 Jul: The shortest distance between two people is a smile (Victor Borge)

1972 Jun: Laughter is the shortest distance between two people (Victor Borge)

Below are details for selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Do Not Confine Your Children to Your Own Learning, for They Were Born in Another Time

Rabindranath Tagore? Rabbinic Saying? Arabic Proverb? Talmud? A. Huebsch? Leo Rosten? Anonymous?

**Group of children in silhouette from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Knowledge accumulates, and the education of each generation of children must include the latest information and capabilities. Here are two versions of a saying that expresses this idea:

(1) Do not confine your children to your own learning, for they were born in another time.

(2) Don’t limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time.

This notion has been attributed to the Bengali sage Rabindranath Tagore. The statement has also been called a Rabbinical saying and an Arabic Proverb. Would you please explore the provenance of this expression?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match found by QI appeared in an 1877 book titled “Gems of the Orient” which contained sayings compiled and translated by Reverend A. Huebsch. The saying occurred in a part of the volume titled “Arabic Proverbs and Sentences”. The precise source of the saying was not specified. Here are four statements from the subsection about “Children”. Boldface added to excepts by QI:¹

Do not confine your children to your own learning, for they were born in another time.

By much falling the child learns to walk.

From the rose proceeds a thorn, from the thorn a rose. (Said of the diversity between parents and children.)

Be submissive in thy childhood that thou mayest be respected in thy old age.

In 1894 “Good Housekeeping” magazine printed a collection of miscellaneous sayings under the title “The Family Scrap Basket” including the following three items:²

What class of tradesmen succeed best by going to the wall? Paper hangers.

He is a gallant man, indeed, who always stands up for women—in a street car.

Do not confine your children to your own learning, for they were born in another time.

In 1900 the saying appeared in “Wit and Wisdom of the Talmud” edited by Madison C. Peters. Here are four statements from a section titled “Duties Between Parents and Children”:³

Do not confine your children to your own learning, for they were born in another time.

Where the children honor their parents, there God dwells, there He is honored.

Parental love should be impartial; one child must not be preferred to the other.

The three citations above demonstrate the uncertain origin of the saying. The creator remains anonymous. The saying seems to be either Arabic or Rabbinic. QI hopes that future research will help to clarify the origin.

The earliest attribution to Rabindranath Tagore found by QI appeared in 2008 which is an extremely late date.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.